If you’ve been suffering a case of FOMO lately, you’ve come to the right place. You will feel no jealousy here.

Living in New York was a dream for me. Let me paint you a picture of that “dream” this week.

There are no Dumpsters and alleys in Manhattan. Trash is a big business. It gets sorted into thick plastic “rat-proof” bags and piled up on the sidewalks. The garbage trucks drive down the streets and a couple of guys walk alongside, tossing those bags in the truck’s compactor.

Now imagine those bags out on the sidewalks as 10+ inches of snow falls. The trash doesn’t get collected. Then, the temperature rises, so the snow turns into rain, which then freezes, encasing the garbage/snow banks in ice. It’s now rock hard and the trash is stuck in the mounds. Then dogs come along and pee on the whole thing.

That’s not all.

Cars parked on the roads got blocked in by a wall of snow from the plows. That wall of snow got the same ice treatment, so now it’s like a rock wall blocking them in. Some car owners chipped away at those walls until they could get out.

The mess has created extra narrow strips of sidewalk, so if you need to pass someone coming toward you, one of you is forced dangerously near the garbage-dirty snow-pee mountain.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to search for jobs in Hawaii. That’s the real dream.

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