Last week a few of my teammates and I went to a soccer drills clinic. I struggled with the experience. I know drills are drills and not a game. I had trouble seeing how this would work in a real game, and I found the coach annoying. Still, I did my passes and tried to keep a smile on my face.

Working on my mental game.
Working on my mental game.

One of my teammates took it upon himself to coach me. That really annoyed me. I already had an annoying coach. Now I get an annoying teammate as well? At one point, he told me to “hang in there.” I was tempted to tell him it was him that was bothering me, not the activity. At the end of practice, he was exhausted and laying on the ground. I was up for more running around, so I felt superior.

OK the point of this story is that I don’t care what other people think of me. It was something of an epiphany. I wasn’t working on my soccer skills to impress my teammates. I was there to improve me. For me.

I used to be very concerned with appearances. I honestly struggled sometimes, believing that if I didn’t have just the right outfit, the event wasn’t worth attending. Now I can say, “meh, these shoes are the best I’ve got, so I’ll go with them.”

As a result, I feel like my style has become more me. I don’t go buy an outfit off a mannequin. I create outfits out of what I have and usually feel great about them. (Sometimes they’re a miss.) If I want a new piece, I wait until it’s on sale. I don’t rush out before an event because I think I need it.

I also used to get so embarrassed about staying in on a Friday or Saturday night. Now I love it. Woohoo! A long evening to lounge around? Yes please!

Yesterday I went to Pound with some friends. I joked that I liked to be in the back, off to the side, behind a pillar because I have no rhythm. That is kind of true, but it’s more because I don’t want the teacher to correct me. I just want to do my thing. I want to figure it out myself.

I think that’s why I was annoyed at soccer practice. I wanted to do it. I didn’t want to be told I was doing it wrong. Of course I was doing it wrong. I’m learning! After a week of processing that practice, I can see how I will use my skills in games. I’m ready to rock the fall season.


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