How to be the annoying person on the bus (as tested by my fellow MegaBus passengers)

1.Eat a potent meal on the bus. Egg salad is good. Chinese food is better.
2.Leave your phone’s ringer on. A loud, obnoxious ring tone is better.
3.Give fellow travelers bad information on how the queue works. Even better, give fellow travelers bad information on how the queue works with a mouthful of the turkey leg you’ve been gnawing on.
4.Tell fellow travelers what they’ll like in the city they’re visiting (despite the fact that you just met them and don’t know their tastes). Doing so with a mouthful of the nachos you’ve been munching on is better.
5.Kick the seat of the person in front of you. Better yet, do so repeatedly during the trip. Even after they politely ask you to be careful.
6.Bump into the aisle-seat people as you walk past to the restroom. Better still, give the backs of their seats a shake as you walk by.

7. Put your bag on the window seat and sit in the aisle spot. Don’t make any attempt to slide over as the bus fills up. Better yet, don’t make eye contact with passengers looking for a seat.
8. Take phone calls during the trip. Even better, don’t keep them short.

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