Whenever I see articles talking up why a city or state is awesome, I think to myself “Bitch, please.”

New York is the greatest city in the US. Hands down. It might stink in the summer time, but it has more culture than anyone. The residents school the rest of the country in resilience. New York City is the most popular vacation destination for domestic and international visitors.So, I’m sorry, but other US cities can’t even compete in this game.

I’m not going to go as far as Time Out New York and say the world, but it’s competitive among the great cities of the world.

Not every city has to or wants to be New York. That’s fine. Fantastic really. We only need one. But please stop with the pathetic lists. You’re just embarrassing yourself. You don’t even have Seamless!

Now every city’s newspaper or magazine puts out these lists. I’m only mentioning the ones I’ve lived in. But Atlanta, Las Vegas, San Francisco, San Diego and Des Moines, don’t go thinking you’re special.

 

Seattle

Yes, Seattle is beautiful. Seattle wins for best mountains, forests and coffee.

But, Seattleites dress like homeless lumberjacks. You pretend to be a green city, but do you regularly leave your car at home and take a bus? Be honest! Yes, there’s great Asian food, but New York has Chinatown. And Little Italy. And Little India and K-town. Should I continue?

OK, “Marijwhatnow” is kind of funny. As is the whole “SLUT” thing. But I haven’t forgotten the “Washyourhandsington” campaign. Please tell me that has stopped.

“10 Things I Hate About You” and “Sleepless in Seattle” were filmed there … decades ago!

More truths:
Every city loves their pro teams.

Thank you for approving gay marriage, but you were behind the curve on that one.

Every city has a great burger and ice cream places.

But, keep bragging about the beauty and the coffee. You’ve got the markets cornered on there.

 

Here are a few from Minnesota‘s list.

 

What now?

47. We’ve hosted the Nationals for gymnastics twice in the past five years.

This is not something to brag about.

  1. We’re the birthplace of Zubaz.

Again, everyone has ice cream.

  1. Our huge selection of quality locally-made ice cream–Sebastian Joe’s, Pumphouse Creamery, Izzy’s, Crema Cafe, Grand Ole Creamery–probably beats every major city in the U.S.

I think Oregon still claims this one.

  1. We’re the hipster state.

Please, is it up to two lines now?

  1. We’ve got a light rail that can zip you around to major destinations within the Twin Cities.

This is something to brag about.

  1. The world’s best apple, Honeycrisp, was bred by U of M horticulturists.

New York can’t claim anything is “affordable”?

  1. The University of Minnesota is the country’s most affordable school located in the heart of a big city.

 

New York even writes a better list. Though we do lose points for talking about how great we are all the time and it’s so dirty.

http://www.timeout.com/newyork/things-to-do/50-reasons-why-nyc-is-the-greatest-city-in-the-world

 

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