This week, I was really upset … with myself.
I had four stressful to-dos when I woke up Monday morning. Two of them were cleaning up the aftermath of not trusting my gut.
Six months ago, I moved in with a crazy person. And as soon as I have my deposit back from that experience, I will start sharing snippets of that nightmare on my blog. At first meeting, my roommate seemed high maintenance, though not frightening. But before I moved in, I started seeing red flags that she might be less-than-stable. I never should have moved in. I should have trusted my gut, forfeited my deposit and run. Now, three months after I moved out, I’m still fighting to get that deposit back. I am proud to say, however, that I got out when I did and didn’t take any further abuse from her.
I also fell for a guy who wasn’t quite divorced. He told me he was in the process, but it wasn’t yet final when we first met. Red flag No. 1, but we talked about it, and I felt OK about it. Then the ex started coming up more and more, and I learned that it wasn’t quite as over as I was led to believe. But at that point, I was pretty invested and in love with this guy, so I tried to be OK with the additional red flags. I should have trusted my initial instinct that it was too soon for him to be dating. But I didn’t, and I let myself get hurt. And yes, I’m allowed to be mad at him for his part in it.
But I’m more disappointed in my own role in each of these situations. I’ve been through a breakup. I know how long it took me to be ready for a real relationship again (a year and a half). And with the crazy roommate, I was just so relieved to have found a place to live that I didn’t look as closely as I should have.
But those situations have been handled. Lessons learned and wrongs righted. In fact, the strength I gained from those two experiences helped me tackle the other two items on my to-do list. Things I wanted, went after and made a reality. And today, I’m feeling amazing about my life again. See? I’ve got this.
I also joined a gym a couple weeks ago. I’m so loving it, especially the class playlists. Here’s my recent playlist, inspired by those classes and my mental state in general.
Rewrite This Story — Smash cast
Cheers (Drink to That) — Smash cast
All This and Heaven Too — Florence and the Machine
Good Life — One Republic
It’s Time — Imagine Dragons
Stay — Rihanna
Just Give Me a Reason — Pink
We Are Young — Fun.
On Top of the World — Imagine Dragons
Radioactive — Imagine Dragons
Feel This Moment — Christina Aguilera & Pitbull
Anything Could Happen — Ellie Goulding
My Songs Know What You Did — Fall Out Boy
Part of Me — Katy Perry