For the last year or so, I feel like we’ve just been hammered with bad news. As someone who works in news, there’s just no escape. It’s not starting to take a toll on me, it already has. As we hung up after our handoff call with the West Coast editors today, my fellow New Yorkers and I let out simultaneous sighs. We all looked defeated.

We’ve been “in the seat” for the Tucson, Aurora theater, Wisconsin Sikh temple, Seattle cafe, Empire State Building and Sandy Hook Elementary shootings. We were there when the reports of firefighters being fired upon came in. We reported the news of a rash of commuters being pushed in front of oncoming New York subway trains. Then we took those trains home.

I’ve heard the Mister Rogers quote about when tragedy strikes, you see the people helping. I’ve heard the line about tragedies doing nothing but highlighting the strength and resilience of the community.

Those things aren’t untrue, but aren’t they just things we say to make us feel better?

I love being in the news industry, I can’t imagine leaving, but right now. staying feels overwhelming.

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