Last night I was on the listening side of major rant. The ranter was blaming her ex-boyfriend for all that is wrong in her life, most notably her current lack of funds. The ex had just bought an apartment, but enlisted the services of another broker, leaving her without a fat commission check.

Now I admit that pre-therapy, I did my share of passing the buck. But now I know better. Much better.

We all have to own our decisions. I stretched my budget and took a pricey apartment, which means I don’t have as much left over for things I used to do. Sometimes that means making choices. I can go to the group dinner, but I won’t order wine, for example. It’s not the group’s fault we went to a restaurant with wine. It’s not my landlord’s fault rent eats up half of my income. It’s not my boss’s fault my job doesn’t pay more. It’s not my parents’ fault I didn’t have a trust fund to tap.

I think it’s all about taking a good, hard look in the mirror and get honest with ourselves. Maybe the fact that I’m not making commissions means I’m not in the right field for me. Maybe I’m not losing weight because I’m not attacking my workouts hard enough. Maybe I think my boss sucks, but really it’s me who’s not good.

Reality bites, but it’s easier to deal with when you accept that it’s you who needs to adapt, not everyone else.

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