“Ryan”: Hey Candace, some guy was looking for you last night.
Me: Yeah, sorry. It was The Boy. I texted him to say I’d meet him downstairs, but I guess he didn’t get it. It wasn’t a creeper this time.
Ryan: OK I wasn’t sure if you had a stalker.
Me: Thanks for being my bodyguard!
Ryan: It’s a compliment, right? To know you’re worth stalking.

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