“At Therapy last night, we sang karaoke and took shots,” my roommate says. For him, Therapy is the bar he frequents – and yes, statements like the above make me think every time.
When I was in actual therapy, I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. Have you taken it? You get a four-letter personality combo INTJ, ISFP, etc.
Each type is determined by 10 questions, so you could be 6:4 Extrovert:Introvert, for example. If you were 9:1 Introvert:Extrovert, you’d be extremely introverted. I was 6:4, so moderately extroverted.
My type was:
Extrovert, Intuition, Feeling & Judging-Perceiving (I was split 5:5)
I find these things fascinating. It was especially helpful to have a trained professional right there to explain what this meant for me. People associate introverted with shy, but it’s more about where you get your energy from. Do you get your energy from being around other people, or does that drain you? A closer look at my answers showed that I love being social and with people. What I don’t like at all is being in loud, crowds. Knowing this explained a lot. I rarely enjoy going to concerts and I hate dancing at the clubs. When I go out, I want to be able to enjoy a conversation with my company.
My therapist also explained that since I’m a split, I need to be sure to schedule some time for myself. This can be hard because I an super social and never want to turn down an invitation. And I dislike feeling like I didn’t accomplish anything.
I’ve had a packed schedule the last couple of weeks and the next one is equally full. I’m now taking classes Monday and Tuesday nights. Wednesday I had a hair appointment, Thursday I was supposed to have a girl date, but that ended up getting rescheduled, Friday I had a date date. I ended up using my suddenly free Thursday night to catch up on a few things: I worked a little late, laundromat, homework and emails to friends.
By this morning, I was exhausted. I had planned to try a new yoga studio at noon, but didn’t want to get up and dressed. I have my period. I drank a little too much last night. Ugh. So, I made myself a bowl of oatmeal and poured some apple juice and ate it in my bed while I streamed “New Girl.” Side note: People keep asking me if my life is like “New Girl,” so I felt I’d better watch.
After a couple hours of TV and homework in the quiet of my room, I decided to go out for a few groceries for the day. I did not want to be out, so I had no patience for people excited to be in New York. “We should go on an adventure today!” one girl said with excitement. I silently groaned as I dreamed of easing my morning-after-cocktails headache with a chai latte.
After lunch, a nap and more TV streaming, I felt better. I went out for a run. I had pleasant phone calls. I enjoyed some roommate time and did some homework. I realized I haven’t been making time for my inner introvert. She doesn’t need a lot, but she needs some downtime, like an evening a week. And Introvert time does not mean time spent at the laundromat or doing homework.
I’m trying to remember not to pile too much on, but that side is in direct conflict with the side of me that wants to accomplish, accomplish, accomplish. Let’s finish this IP law certificate in two semesters! How about training for a 5K (in three weeks! Gulp!) Let’s check out all the museums in New York, go to Philly next weekend, date new boys, be a fab roommate, maintain a blog, write a book, try fun new yoga classes AND nourish me.
OK something’s gotta give. It might be laundry. I can easily drop my bag off at the place on my way to work, and pay by the pound when I pick it up clean and folded after work. Sure, it’s more expensive than waiting around two hours to do it myself, but it might give me the time I need to take care of me. And that will be forever worth it.
I’m curious, if anyone out there reading has ever had to “throw something off the ship,” as my boss likes to say. What was it? Did it work, or did you just fill that time up with something else?