It’s easy to talk and fantasize about dreams. “We should open a bar together.” “It would be awesome if I could make a living doing something I love.” “How cool would it be to move to New York for a year?”

Putting words into action is a lot harder. I’ve been making arrangements to move to New York since October. But it really didn’t feel real when I was selling furniture. Or even when I signed over the title to my car or signed a lease on a place in Manhattan. What made it click was saying goodbye to Derek.

It’s true. He’s been the most significant person in my life in Washington.

It was a drawn-out, teary goodbye. For the first time I really stopped and thought, “WTF am I doing?” I told him I feel like a crazy person for leaving so many wonderful people for … the unknown. He reminded me that I took the same leap of faith 12 years ago, and look how well that turned out.

After my second teary goodbye to Derek, my dear friend Janice stopped by with her family to clear out the last of Apartment 105. One look in her eyes and I started sobbing. Janice’s 20-month-old son looked concerned. Her husband announced he’d take a load out to the car to give us a minute.

A few deep breaths, and I got through it. Nolan threw some bobby pins and hangers on the floor to feel better. It looked like a good idea! As many reminded me, There’s always a plan B. You can always come back. But go, enjoy. Have fun. Get a lot out of it. Do what everyone else is just talking about doing.

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2 thoughts on “Dreaming out loud

  1. Candace, I can’t believe it’s actually time for you to go. I’m sorry that we didn’t get one last hang out. I hope you leave Seattle with nothing but positive memories to keep you company as you settle into your new home in NY. It will become important to you in a new, different way… We will miss you so much.

  2. I hope you never forget how brave you are for taking these steps. We are so inspired by you. Too many of us stop at just dreaming, too few of us actually try our dreams on in life. I have a hunch the brave are always rewarded.

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