I found an apartment in the Hell’s Kitchen area of Manhattan it looked perfect, the roommate sounds like a good guy. It’s in a desirable location (15-minute walk to the office, just down the street from my only Manhattan friend, and right between her favorite butcher and baker, she tells me). Still, I hesitated before confirming my desire to sign the lease. But it’s a sixth-floor walk-up. And there’s no laundry in the building. And it’s so expensive. Maybe I should spend just one more day looking.

At the same time, I was thinking about a copyright law class at New York University. It is just the class I want to start with for just the program I want to do. It’s easy to get to from the office, I confirmed with a co-worker. I could do it after work. It’d be a great way to meet people I don’t work with. My employer will pay for it. But maybe I should wait a semester and get myself settled in first. I should at least have the apartment figured out before I go registering for class, right? Maybe even buy the plane ticket?

To delay my decision, I scrolled over to Gmail to find a surprising email. It made me smile. And gave me a dose of confidence.

Just like that, two decisions made. Settled. It’s for real.

I tell you this because I keep hearing “I’m proud of you. You’ll love New York. You must be so excited.” Thank you. I know I will. And I am, but it’s also scary. It’s not easy to pack up the last 12 years. And to bid adieu to people I love and who I’m not done loving yet. And law class? That’s freaking terrifying. What am I thinking?

Me in NY
On a trip to New York

And I know I’m so lucky to have this opportunity. I’m embracing it. I am excited for it. I know I can come back anytime I want. Or I could stay. Or I could go somewhere else entirely. But don’t think for a second it’s easy. But, I know it’s going to be worth it.

And you know what? I’m proud of me, too. I was proud to hand my manager my NYU paperwork to sign for the tuition credit. I can’t wait to find out what makes Quyn’s butcher so great. I’m even anticipating pulling my suitcase up six flights of stairs. And each time I climb them it’s going to be easier and easier and definitely worth it.

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2 thoughts on “Am I making this look easy?

  1. Yeah, I’ve been wondering if you’ve been a dose of fear. I assumed there was some, but it seems there’s more excitement/anticipation that maybe overpowers the fear. 🙂

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