Here’s my latest: I’m talking to my boss about doing a contract in New York. If it works out, I would be committing to a year. My plan is then to come back to Seattle. I have a few reasons for wanting to do this: 1. I didn’t study abroad in college. I wish I had. I’d like to do some time elsewhere. If I don’t do it now, I’ll just be another year older when I do. 2. I think some distance from my life might give me some clarity. I want to go back to school, but can’t seem to decide if I want to study nutrition, political communication or law. Those are vastly different things. 3. I continue to struggle to put my own needs first. I help everyone else out, but maybe it’s finally time to focus on me.

But, at the end of each day, I don’t dream about going to law school or trying a yoga class or living in New York. What I want is someone to share my life with. If I go to NY for a year with the intention of coming back, am I just delaying finding what I really want? Or am I giving myself the clarity to figure that out? I don’t really expect you to have an answer to that.

I had two failed relationships this summer. The one I put my own desires on hold for, believing he was worth it, and would be the one I spent my whole life with. And the never-official one with a guy who was so easy and made me so happy.

Maybe I’m finally accepting the magnitude of what’s happened.


You got something to say? Say it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s