More on friendships

A couple years ago, I threw a bachelorette party for a friend. She wasn’t a great friend, but her best girlfriends lived out of state, so another local friend and I stepped up to give the bride-to-be the bachelorette every girl deserves, and we were happy to do it.

Until the bride started behaving badly – at least in our opinion. Early on, she requested a limo, but we were in a recession and a couple of the guests (or their husbands) were laid off from jobs, we wanted to keep the party affordable. We let the bride know we couldn’t swing the limo. Even so, some of the guests had to back out or otherwise let us know they couldn’t afford to pitch in. We completely understood. The bride did not. She was ungrateful the whole way through. Shortly after we told her we couldn’t afford the limo, she appointed another gal to be “director of fun.” What? Was our party no fun? We bought her typical, but not embarrassing bachelorette goodies (a tiara, a sash, one guest brought a balloon. Another sweetly bought the bride a rose from a sidewalk vendor). The bride “misplaced” things here and there. Again, I could understand “losing” the balloon or the sash, but to ditch the rose? Come on!

At the end of the night, I asked her if she had a good time. “I guess,” she said with a shrug as she left. No “thank you.” No hug. Nothing.  The next day, I emailed her and told her how hurt I felt. She didn’t email me back. I fully recognize that her version of the story would sound different, but this is the way I see it.

I tell you this story not as a launching pad for bad bride stories, but to further our conversation about friendship. Upon reflection, I realized this wasn’t a friendship worth investing in. We weren’t that close to begin with, and I just expect different from my friends. I don’t have any ill will toward her. I wish her and her husband well. I don’t want any “Real Housewives”- type cattiness with her. I think she feels the same way. Our guys are still friends, though they’ve mostly gone their separate ways as well. Our “group” kind of split in two after the wedding as well. I think that was mostly inevitable. It was getting too big anyway. There is still some overlap, which works out fine.

Like I said before, if circumstances change and the bride and I crossed paths again, we could be friends again. But for now, I’m happy that we could move on with our lives without middle school backstabbing.

Do you avoid “Real Housewives” drama in your life? Do those people exist in real life?

Published by Candace

I’m a journalist, nutritionist, doting auntie, one-time bobsledder, and wannabe health nut (who loves chocolate and pizza too much to fully commit). I don't want you to think my life is perfect. It's not.

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