Ohmygosh. Read this
If you understand the phrase “Just OK marriage,” read “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix and/or go to couples therapist. Believe me, it can get better. You deserve a fulfilling, satisfying partnership.
Why I’m telling you this: When couples are in an ‘unconscious relationship,’ they no longer have hopes of finding happiness or love within the relationship. At this point, approximately 50 percent withdraw and end the relationship. Most of those who stay together create what is called a ‘parallel’ relationship and try to find happiness outside the relationship (doesn’t mean an affair, it could be that you find happiness by throwing yourself into something else: school, kids, exercise, work … ). A very few, perhaps as few as five percent find a way to resolve the power struggle and go on to create a deeply satisfying relationship. — From “Getting the Love You Want.”